Political Mama

Whether it’s questioning the so-called “adult humor” in Shrek or condemning parents for bringing their kids to an evening showing of I Am Legend, parents promoting censorship are the norm rather than the exception, online and off.  The common caveat most censoring parents cling to is the notion that restricting their childrens’ media choices is not censorship at all — it’s just good parenting.

I beg to differ.

We don’t censor what our children are exposed to in the media.  We listen to a variety of music, watch some of the popular prime time shows, and visit our local movie theater with great frequency.  My son has chosen to avoid most television and isn’t quite ready to accompany us to the cinema again (though he did when he was a baby), but my daughter loves the experience of going to the movies.  She’s seen a variety of films, including horror and comedy, spanning all ratings.  Contrary to the popular expectations of the naysayers, she’s never had a nightmare and doesn’t act out inappropriately in any way.  What our viewing choices have given her is the terrific opportunity to learn about and discuss many issues, with guidance from her mom and dad.

Seeing as many parents shy away from conversations about war, sexuality, and other intense topics, it’s no surprise that they censor media depicting these things as well.  Perhaps they are doing it out of laziness, and perhaps it’s a misguided attempt to extend the innocence of childhood, but I can’t help but to feel that it’s a terrible plan overall.

What do you accomplish when you censor a child’s viewing?  Certainly, you make the desired material that much more attractive.  You also create an environment in which adults are treated like a distinctly separate class of citizens.  And finally, you contribute to the puritanical values of a society that has been greatly damaged by those values.  I’m thinking here of the Baby Scoop Era, the horrid treatment of gay, lesbian, and transgender people, restricted access to the morning-after pill, and a great many other events governed by backwards thinkers purporting to profess chastity, innocence, and virtue.  Gag.

By allowing our children to choose for themselves what they do and don’t want to see, not only do we give them some credit — for being able to separate fantasy from reality, for being able to make intelligent choices, and for being individuals worthy of respect and consideration — but we also open the doors of communication for them.  There’s nothing that I, as a mom, cannot explain to my children, and there are plenty of things I’d rather they learned from me first.

Turns out, not censoring is good parenting, after all.

Being involved in both the anti-adoption and pro-choice movements has taught me that, when it comes to  language, laziness isn’t acceptable.   The words we use to describe the people and things around us should be chosen carefully — not out of some politically-correct desire to avoid offending others, but for the purpose of clarity and understanding.

I’ve only recently begun (trying) to apply the same high standards I have for truthful language in adoption, abortion, and other issues in the education arena.   Here, I think it is most important to be distinct in separating education from schooling.

I don’t believe that children are sent to school to be educated — though many parents may be tricked into thinking this is the case.  Rather, they are sent to school so that they can be schooled; schooled in conformity, in memorization, in artificial social situations, and in preparation for life as a cog in the corporate wheel.  Education is of little interest to the school system.  In fact, if real education ever does take place within the confines of a school, it’s surely coincidental.

As a home educator, I take great pride in offering my children an experiential education.  My goals for them do not match up with the goals of our local school board.  While I sometimes wish they would “question authority but not [their] mother,” our home is not an obedience school.  Rather, it is a place where my children can be guided by their interests, learning in meaningful, rather than artificial ways.  We don’t block out hours of our day for learning, for work, and for play.  Instead, we seek out opportunities to find the educational value in all that we do.  My children are not being prepped for the so-called real world in which drudgery is accepted as a fact of life.  That’s not my world, nor is it a world I hope they join some day.  They’re getting a subversive education, for sure.

Sometimes, other parents are going to take offense at me saying that their children are schooled, rather than educated. Sometimes, I stumble over saying that I am educating my children at home or that they are home educated.  This is a new language journey for me, and mistakes happen.  And sure, it is easier to say we’re homeschooling — but do we really want anyone to think that what we do is anything like what’s done in a school?

The last issue of Mothering magazine (not to be confused with the most recent issue, featuring the lovely Ani DiFranco and her daughter, Petah) included an article condemning parents for involving their children in political activism.  Though I normally like Mothering a lot, this particular article just made me angry. 

I suppose I should start by saying that I strongly disagree with parenting that shelters kids from reality.  I wasn’t a sheltered child, and my children are growing up with even more knowledge than I had at their ages — knowledge that is sometimes beautiful, sometimes upsetting, sometimes hilarious, and sometimes infuriating, just like the world itself.  How can I teach my kids about all the difficult issues around them, if I cover their eyes and ears every waking moment, filtering all seriousness out of their lives?  As I see it, I have precious little time in which to be the single most valuable influence on my children, and I am not going to waste a moment. 

Talking about politics with my kids, something I started when my oldest was just about two, is a huge part of our lives.  Contrary to the point of view expressed in the Mothering article (and elsewhere online), my daughter is not a sad child forced to grow old before her time.  She is a bright and happy five year old who enjoys making mud pies and playing with her friends — and who can also converse with adults about Barack Obama, abortion rights, the environment, and war (among other things).  Rather than destroying her child, political awareness has enhanced it by making her a more vocal, active participant in the world around her.

I feel the same about modeling activism for my children by involving them in protests, rallies, and volunteering.  I don’t want them to think of activism as something mysterious that their mama does alone, while leaving them behind.  I want them to experience the great feelings that come from joining with a group of people who are all passionate about an issue, not afraid to speak up and be counted, ready to make themselves heard.   Not having been involved in those things as a child, I remember feeling intimidated when I first started — the kind of intimidation that could easily cause a person to back away entirely.

I want my kids to grow into happy, healthy adults, but I also want them to be politically aware and involved.  And it’s never too soon to help them develop the good habits that will follow them into adulthood!   

The last time I purchased a domain and web hosting — for our family’s farm — there was an option to add another URL for a very nominal fee.  It took me about a second to decide that the time had finally come to start the blog I’d been writing in my head for six years.  I quickly snapped up PoliticalMama.com, and here I am.  Perhaps, ‘here we go!’ is more appropriate!

Though I’ve been blogging in one way or another since my oldest child was born, my blogs have all been either personal in nature — written as a way to communicate with my friends — or singularly focused on one issue or another.  It’s been my hope to someday work on a blog that combines the things about which I care the most, namely parenting and political and social issues.

It is also my belief that these two things are very much linked for myself and many other wonderful people I know.  I cannot set aside my politics while I parent any more than I can extract myself from my motherhood when I vote. 

To borrow a line from the witty webpage of the lovely Comic Mom: “What makes a (in this case Political) Mama?”

Five and a half year old Rylie Dale and two year old Ronin Michael have given me the privilege of being called Mama, and I am proud to claim the following political labels for myself:  activist, atheist, pro-choice, feminist, anti-adoption, pacifist, unAmerican, liberal, radical, hippie, environmentalist.  I am far less proud of this, but I must also claim a Political Science degree which admittedly cost way more in dollars than it cost in both time and effort. 

There you have the ingredients for one tireless political mama who is also a writer.  To quote the wise Ms. Ani DiFranco, “If you like it, let it be, and if you don’t, please do the same.” 

And with that, I’m off to breastfeed the next revolution.